Driving home tonight, it was dark. The pure kind of dark that envelops you; no lights save the two piercing beams of your headlights bleeding out into the night. Soft piano music hung in the air, slithering around my ears, assuring me of my solitude. I broke my rule and pushed to twenty over. So I could think.

Tonight has been... a good one. The first since this damn year began. I've reached a conclusion. With all the turbulence, with all the strife,
I've reached a conclusion.

If I'm to come out of this year alive, I'm going to have to work my ass off.

But if I can succeed, if we can all succeed in not only surviving this year but triumphing over it, we may come into 2006 with... something just short of wholeness. Because when I say surviving this year, I mean surviving ourselves. So get ready for the fight of your life, because if we lose this one... it just might not be worth it.

Tonight I learned something important. I think. For Arik, the word that everything boils down to is create. Whatever he does in life, if it is not going toward creating something new and unheard of, it's simply not worth the struggle. But for me.. mine is discover. I need.. to learn. To know. To roam. To.. explore. Regardless of the medium, I consistently use the world around me to figure out myself and my place in it.

So what am I going to do with that? Hell if I know. But it feels like something I should hold on to. At least until I find something else to take apart and discover.

Discover. It tastes good on my tongue. Filling.

Also an interesting way to look at it is that the tsunami capped off the chaos of 2004 and 2005 is still working out the kinks and cleaning out the grime from 2004.
I still don't believe it. But it's an interesting way of looking at it.

ink :: graphite