I read almost all of The Perks of Being a Wallflower today. Because it is amazing. And here is some of what I wrote whilst hopehopehoping someone, anyone would patronize our little establisment:

I just looked in the mirror and absolutely did not recognize myself. Really.

I was in the bathroom, checking to see if I looked sixteen, as I always assume I do, or if John was right. And damn if he isn't right.

There I was, standing in the bathroom at the Holiday Inn, staring back at this curving, styled, eyeshadowed stranger. I don't even look like a teenager anymore. I'm like... a woman. Or at least I look like one. I certainly don't feel like one. Or maybe I just don't feel like what you imagine adults must feel when you're a kid, and I just don't know any better because I've only got experience in being a kid. Either way.

I wonder if it will happen like this when I'm forty. I'll look in some public mirror... not my own, of course, I'll be too used to seeing me in that context for any real jarring experience to happen... but I'll look into it and wonder where the overwhelmed little girl with an ambiguous future went, and when I became... whatever it is I'll have become by then.

I'll then have to force into consciousness all the memories and milestones I'm so used to pretending happened to someone else and accept the fact that I have lost my innocence.

Damn what a scary day that's going to be. Glad I'm only nineteen and having to deal with rapid rabid growth over the course of one year, not a blurred memory of the steady rhythm of life having beaten me into submission.

I think I'm just going to wallow in the idealism of youth for a little longer and hope that day never comes.

Oh God I hope it never comes.

...I'll sleep once I've finished the book.

"As I was walking up the stairs to my dad's old room, and I was looking at the old photographs, I started thinking that there was a time when these weren't memories. That someone actually took that photograph, and the people in the photograph had just eaten lunch or something..."
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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