There were very few people in high school that we called by their real, birth certificate-quality names. But only one nickname could buckle the knees of every one of us in succession:

Cool Whip.

"I would strip him naked,
dip him in cool whip,
and screw him to a wall..."
-Meish

It was a mantra we recited at every sighting, first out of habit, then out of... probably still habit. But said with feeling. The boy did nothing but walk around school being pretty. Dumb as a box of rocks. We didn't really mind. We didn't want to debate him.
Anyway I saw him at Target today and it just made my day. I even talked to him.

And for the record, he doesn't know where the beach towels are.

ink :: graphite