So I had been dreading this day. An excerpt from my journal:

8/26/04 <-- the day of reckoning

What a miserable way to start a new year, a new life. Last night was hard, a lot harder than I thought it would be. I'm so tired of crying. I hate it, and it's all I've been doing for the past three days. I don't feel like doing anything except curling up with a carton of cookie dough and watching funny movies.
[edit]
I hate that I've made [mum] mad on my last day.

Oh god it's my last day.

I hate moving so much

~~~~~

So setting the scene for the great Move In. Angsty, no?

I remember so crystalline my very first thought as we pulled into the parking lot:

"Well we're here. and I'm terrified."

...Well, technically, my very first thought was "Oh look at all the froshies and padres. Aren't we just adorable??" but sarcasm ruins the melancholy mood ever so slightly...

And it was so hot and miserable but I liked Jess right away and I didn't cry at all but I think that hurt mum... I don't know why though, she knows how I am with public emotion... I seem to be rather good at stomping on raw feelings as of late; perhaps I'll change my major... life-ruining 101, where can I sign up?

First night I already felt like I'd been here a week... but a week at Nationals, not college... Jess took me out and it was... interesting to not have to worry about what time to be back or which adult figures were around because suddenly we were the adult figures...

It's an uncomfortable duality to realize one is officially an adult just as she is in the midst of being irresponsible...

Anyway i saw Donnie Darko and I loved it

[end first day]

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