at the risk of sounding immeasurably shallow or even, dareisay, loose...

i love to flirt.

that is, i love to flirt in the context of society's definition of flirting, which is of course [enter sarcasm]

remote friendliness toward any other fellow human being
[sarcasm skulks UL and crouches, glaring at audience]

smiling. eye contact. jokes. anything indicating what can only be construed as interest in the flirtee.
in short, i like to have fun. with people.
i like to enjoy myself. with people.
yes, i even like to talk to strangers.
not random creepy shady old man at the county fair, mind you, but random interesting person in the daylight with a crowd of people.
often strangers are more fun to talk to purely because you don't know anything about them yet.

so why such a bad aura around the concept of flirting?
everyone does it, consciously or not.
it's a fun thing to do.
it's a human thing to do.

i only recently realized the enjoyment i take in the act because i only recently realized the full extent of the definition.
and i only realized the full extent of the definition when i had to have it explained to me why apparently random people in the street believe me to be the biggest flirt ever in the world.

now i may not be the greatest math genius to ever grace this earth, but the thought process simply does not add up.
webster says flirting ranges from "talking amorously" to "making playful or sexual overtures" to "moving abruptly or jerkily"
but society includes talking at all, making playful or sexual undertures and moving in the general vicinity of the person one is "talking amorously" to.

in short, if a person is sociable at all to members even remotely construed as the opposite sex (regardless of whether he or she acts in the same exact manner toward everyone), he or she is immediately branded as a flirt and therefore interested in nothing more than a physical rendezvous with the subject.

there is no escaping it.
especially if one has very close friends of the opposite sex, and/or has a larger number of friends of the opposite sex than those of the same sex. there is no consideration of whether or not he or she simply enjoys the subjects' company. society is quick to judge and slow to forgive.

so why not embrace it? if there is nothing to be done, why vascillate over whether or not other people will think bad of you? why care what mob mentality thinks at all?

this is the philosophy i try to keep, and this is why people think i am a slut.

~~~~~

for the sake of my honor, i am as far from that as one can get... bordering prudish, really... but that is of course, as is all things, considering society's concept of the word.

but it doesn't matter. you will believe what you want to believe... and i accept that fact, then disregard it.

i still love to flirt.

~~~~~

p.s. went to scholarship auditions on fri and saw calvert getting-there-amigos and that was fun.. and i got called back to all but one school! ::excitement:: and am very interested in pittsburgh now...
it apparently has a fast-growing theater community, which actually sounds more enticing to me than a long-established one. maybe there is slightly more room there for a female actor/writer (the most common combination in all the world), who knows?

then went to LAST game of LAST year of high school and watched as we were SLAUGHTERED by CALVERT. oh, it hurt. our rival school. that we generally beat down, and had for a consecutive three years. but our entire starting line was dead and wounded, we must give them that. pobrecitos. it hurts them far more, i know.
it's also partially brittany's, olivia's and my fault for throwing our teeming energy ball to the wrong side of the field, and partially the moon's fault for being a turncoat blue instead of an encouraging loyal green. brent (brett? hmm.. it's oscar in class) from spanish class didn't even want to do the apache with brittany and me in the parking lot afterwards. he, and the rest of the team, and the rest of the fans, looked pretty suicidal. twas terrible [read with spanish accent and dramatically clenched fist].

but went to northern's show after tech tonight and saw northern friends.
i heart them, they're fabulous.
and so nice!
i love northern people. jimmy that graduated was even there and that was exciting.

then brie and i went to applebee's and our server was funny and sat with us because he was bored and had no one to wait on but us and that is what spurred my seemingly random demi-rant above. my mind works in mysterious ways.. don't question it.

but now i must go as it is closing in on two and i promised mum i'd be off and asleep.. far earlier.

g'night

ink :: graphite