aaaaaaaand jaime. ::pulls hand down in "aaaand scene" gesture::

best moment ever: we agreed to abandon arik at the waldorf mall to take an eternity-long lysol product survey because they promised us five dollars at the end...
so they

("they" being Neo and Penelope Cruz if they were both born and bred in baltimore... ::takes brief moment to enjoy alliteration::)

ultimately led us to a suspicious little nook in a dark corner between stores where random painters were hanging about...
and as we sat in the room next to the double-sided mirror they assured us no one was behind, Neo made some crack about how he hoped my boyfriend didn't mind that he was sitting next to me.
then i said something about my boyfriend isn't the jealous type and jaime and i had a good giggle over that.

note: foreshadowing

so as they filled out the questionnaire for us we told them about how she was visiting me from joja and at some point we got onto the subject of my cats.

note: leading up to the punchline

and somehow or another (ask jaime, my memory fails me) we got to the point where jaime said,
"well considering the fact that i sleep in her bed..."

cue: immediate silence

i had to keep myself from falling over laughing on the spot.

oh it was glorious.

they changed the subject then i think and we went along our merry way, teasing the random painters about being rodeo clowns and alternately pretending neo and penelope weren't answering the questions for us and being thankful that they were.

so that was fun.

oh!
other best moment ever: we were standing around at the sad little carnival con delant�, arik, tameika, and kayleigh on the fourth when Random Stupid Southern Marylander #16 decided to light the longest, screechiest, and overall most grating firework known to man roughly ten feet away.

twas horible ::switches to spanish accent and does "horible" gesture::

but then holy goodness Random Angry Carnie #7 starts yelling and cursing and pulls a metal pole off his tent and chases him down with it!

well.. of course by "pulls" i mean "wrestles with for ten minutes before finally yanking it free with his foot"

now, one could empathize heightened annoyance or even shallow anger but setting off firecrackers does not warrant murder by eight foot metal pike.

angry people are funny

in other news, i am balding

and i have a job
that's right, you read it, i, brittany, am a working girl now.

some quotes from the [insert town here] nursing center:
"shake it, but don't break it!"

"i am ninety years old and... what should i do?"
"about what?"
"well i don't know.
"then i guess i don't know either."

"you read very fast"
"i thought you read just right"

"over in that wing are the people that are more mobile and.. lucid. over here you get your alzheimer's.. your demensia..."

"mmmm mmmm!" [read: suggestively as i walk by]

"watch for ola... she's really funny, but she spits."

"you don't look pregnant today."
"this is the new girl. she's not pregnant at all. brandi is at home resting her feet."

[indicating picture on Reminiscence magazine]"is that your mother?"
"no, that's just random girl from the fifties. she's pretty though, isn't she?"
"you know, i worked for your grandfather...[note: all my family lives in georgia]"
"did you?"
[mumble mumble]
"oh"
[mumble mumble]
"cool"

that's three days. i love it. goodnight.

~~~~~

p.s.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBER!!!

[that is... referring to the third... yes.]

ink :: graphite