it's almost six o'clock in the morning... not because i went to sleep early, oh no... because i didn't go to bed in the first place. it just seemed so much easier that way. and i'm completely wired. that happens when you reach a certain hour in the snowballing morning, you begin to doubt you ever slept in your life and certainly can't imagine starting any time soon. you forget what sleep feels like, how it feels to relax. you forget how to sleep.

i'm nearing the end of my three-week-long filing project and i'm soon moving on to my bookshelf. the bitterness is most likely over, but the nostalgia has only begun. i warn you now.

i'm reading kafka. so far i've only read the linguist's note, and i love it.

my bed looks like cardboard i don't want it.

it's amazing the amount of things that can happen in a span of a week, in a span of 24 hours. lives shift, worlds go askew and back again and wrench the other way. everything always happens at once. things go in cycles, and more often than not, they fall on the same one. perhaps i will explain the context of this observation at a later date.

spring break is awesome. a taste of sweet sweet summer right when you're about to slit your wrists from the confines of routine, and stolen away before time and relaxation have eroded the hastily memorized equations and vocabulary kept safely stored in a school-year-sized memory file to be sifted through and erased on that glorious Last Day.

girls' days/nights out are awesome. road trips and singing loud to alanis morrisette and curing shopping lag with heaps of food and trying on with no intention of buying and buying things we can't afford... movie moments are awesome.

cell phones are awesome. they make california next door and two in the morning acceptable for phone conversations with those you can't wait to see tomorrow.

hanging out with people you don't normally hang out with is awesome. never uncomfortable as long as sarcasm is along for the ride and always funny and always fun. because acquaintances are fun but friends are better. and awesome.

i'm hungry.

boondock saints is the best movie in the world right now.

i don't know why my knees won't just heal. meniscal tears do not last this long. they're being beastly just because they know i want to run so bad it hurts. spite sucks.

i think i bruised my ribs playing red rover. it was funny when it happened, though. red rover always comes at just the perfect time and place.
it knows. you know. everyone knows. and then it's perfect, a snapshot in time.

the morning djs are talking about what kind of whore each person is...

i am a red rover whore.

~~~~~

"you are a pot head!"
-kevin, after sifting through my purse to find smelly lotion, mints and gum, a bar of soap, and a safety pin. also: i always get caramel macchiatos at starbucks.

i had to explain to him that i am not high, i am loopy. quite loopy. all the time. because i don't sleep.

sleep is for the weak.

ink :: graphite