it's no coincidence sick is only a few vowels from suck.

took mags and laura a escuela as was still back and forth about whether or not to go.... but the car ride decided for me. so i came back home.

and home i have stayed. am feeling better now but it's too late to go to school so i can go to practice ::curses half-day or no extracurrics rule:: for only an hour and a half anyway as would have to leave early....

but it's KILLING me nonetheless

now i know how kaylface felt missing so many practices in a row despite legit (2legit2quit even) reasons.

why are we so dedicated to this? why do we leap willingly into this thing that we know will take over our lives, make us exhausted, make us sick, make us unable to focus on anything else but lines and cues and costumes and set and character and accents and physicality for the next few months for three or five or two days' pure result?

but it's not just those three or five or two days. it's every day inbetween. most of theater is preparation, and maybe that's what we as young people do best. prepare.

we prepare for pre-k which prepares us for kindergarten which prepares us for school, we prepare for fifth grade, we prepare for middle school, we prepare for high school, we prepare for tests, we prepare for class, we prepare for PSATs which prepare us for SATs and ACTs and SAT IIs, we prepare for finals, we prepare for graduation, we prepare for college, we prepare for the working world, we prepare for life.

when we are finally shoved into the real world, are we going to know anything but how to prepare?

ink :: graphite