paperback writer
surprise surprise 199 questions to... me

I am so self-centered it hurts.

1. Your full name: Brittany Nicole

2. Do you feel like your name fits you? It�s like an 80�s pop star� so yes.

3. Do you have an alter ego? Just ego, and lots of it.

4. Where were you born? Da ATL, yo! Werd.

5. Where do you live? At my computer

6. Do you like to travel? The need to be uprooted, it courses through my veins.

7. What is your birthday? May 9, 1986... Fresh Prince is on Nick at Nite I am so old

8. Do you have siblings? Little brother... he's over 6'

9. Do you have pets? Four cats, two dogs

10. Which was the happiest year of your life? That�s a long time to be straight happy

11. How old do you wish you were? Ten. Or eighteen. Eighteen is pretty cool.

12. A movie is being made about your life. Who would you cast to play yourself? Jess said it should be Natalie Portman and I said why not.

13. Who would you cast to play your significant other? (if you have no significant other, cast someone anyway) Johnny Depp but only if I got to play myself and in this dramatization of my life we had sex all the time.

14. How would this movie end? With an explosion

15. Is it better to be famous or infamous? Infamous

16. You�re going to die a natural death. What is the cause? Natural� causes?

17. You�re going to die a sudden, tragic death. What is the cause? Oooh and here is the reason for the awkward question above. Uh, I think in 8th grade I wrote in my obituary that I died of a severe paper cut while on safari. I think I�ll stick with tradition.

18. How long do you plan on living? Until I die

19. What was the last song you got stuck in your head? What was the last song that wasn�t?

20. Sing any commercial jingle. I THINK I LOVE YOU SO WHAT�M I SO AFRAID OF

21. What is your favorite element on the periodic table? Ach! Chemistry! ::ducks under counter::

22. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset.

23. Introvert or extrovert? Extrovert.

24. Creation or evolution? Creavolution

25.Action or reaction? All of the above

26. Unity or individuality? Hot Topic. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA

27. Hugs or drugs? INTERVENTION!!! ::tackles::

28. Animal, vegetable, or mineral? A liger. Lima bean and tiger.

29. Popsicle, creamcicle, or fudgecicle? The one that gives me the least tongue splinters

30. Fight or flight? Fight! Hai-YAH!

31. Who is your favourite historical figure? Suddenly we�re British? What�s going on there??

32. Which historical figure could we have done without? Your mom.

33. What happened in the last dream you remember? I road tripped to Georgia, only Georgia looked a lot like CSPAC, and Jaime had a birthday present of a huuuuge string of Christmas lights for me from years and years ago but it was perfect because it was the day before Christmas. Yes, there were stairs in the dream. I was probably naked, too.

34. Do nice guys really finish last? STOP WHINING AND GROW SOME BALLS!!! *Aherm *. Excuse me�

35. What are your favorite boy names? Brenden, Brendt, Cameron, Jeffrey... I�ve got a list around here somewhere, I know you�re shocked...

36. What are your favorite girl names? And of course there�s a list of these somewhere too�

37. Open or closed? We keep an open-door policy around here

38. White bread or wheat bread? Potato

39. Is it better to burn out than to fade away? Absolutely

40. You put a quarter into a toy machine. What comes out? Ten Homies

41.What do you want to be when you grow up? I�m not going to grow up; my bones are done.

42. What were your favorite childhood toys? Barbies, trolls, Koosh dolls, but mostly just the great outdoors

43. What was your first pet? Two cats: Dusty and Erika (guess which one was the boy) Two dogs: Chelsea and Bogey and a tankful of fish, including one very shy catfish and a red-tailed shark

44. What annoys you? People that drive the same speed in different lanes; people that play mind games

45. What is your favourite action caption from the old batman tv show? BIFF!!! (And again with the British spellings� who are we trying to fool, here?)

46. How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a tootsie pop? Well let�s see. A-one. A-twohooo� ::crunch:: A-three. A-three. And don't think I didn't catch that British spelling you slipped in there..

47. The glass... half empty or half full? ::wipes kool-aid moustache:: What glass?

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON ..Why must we yell? Really now..

48. Tightie whities: As long as they�re not baggy and gross� that�s just� well baggy and gross. Wear what makes you happy just don�t show it to me

49. McDonald�s happy meals: They were better when we were young� the cardboard boxes and toys divided by sex� yeah those were great� except I always liked my brother�s Hot Wheels better than my Barbies, those kind of sucked�

50. Reality shows: Last Comic Standing is decent I guess

51. Gummi bears or gummi worms? Worms. Hands down.

52.Would you rather sky dive or deep sea dive? Stage dive

53. Paper or plastic? I generally have my manservant Thad carry my groceries, it�s better for the environment

54. What position do you sleep in? I�m a little narcoleptic� any position I happen to be in at the time

55. Do you sleep on the left, right, or the middle of the bed? Oh, I made it to my bed this time?

56. Sweet or sour? Sveeete.

57. What was your favorite after school special? Step by Step. Shut up.

58.What is your favorite word? Too many to choose.. they might get jealous and not come to me when I need them

59. Beach or mountains? All of the above

60. Mounds or almond joy? Butterfinger

61. Do YOU feel like a nut? ::cartwheels::

62. To give or to receive? To talk about the fact that you�re both poor and run outside to turn cartwheels in the grass because that�s free.

63. Chocolate or caramel? Chocolate-covered caramels

64. Do you have any nicknames? Brat, Britt, Freak-o, slut, Jess�s Roommate, Graham, Hey

65. What does your name mean? An island off the coast of France

66. Have you ever fainted? Fainting is for the weak

67. Have you ever had a crush on a school teacher? Eww

68.What was the last thing you ate? A brownie. Shh

69.Do you have any bad habits? This is one of them

WORD ASSOCIATION �Good to know you people are so excited about it�

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear... Ellipses? I think of bad writing

70. Gray... Grey� then Grey Davis

71. Human... bean

72. Fruit loop... Toucan Sam

73. Glove... Fits like a

74. Plum... Fairy

75. Structure... Dane Cook

76. Race... riots

77. Heart... By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!

78. Parasite... Yeerks

79. What was your first happy memory? I was a pretty happy kid

80. What was your first unhappy memory? I�m not going to tell you

81. If you could visit any time period, what would it be? 1925 or 1963

82. What would Jesus do? Look it up

83. Make up a word and define it. Flerm: n. the feeling of overall nothingness, with a little bit of icky glazed on top

84.Favorite kool aid flavor? The blue that turns green� or vice versa I don�t remember

85. Favorite pick up line? Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let�s go fuck.

86. Who was the third gunman on the grassy knoll? That was me I did it

87. What did you like to make believe as a child? Everything. I lived inside my head for most of my childhood it was probably a little creepy.

88. Did you have an imaginary friend? A wolf named Peep. Best imaginary friend ever.

89. Would you like to live in a castle or a mansion? Victorian style house with a wraparound porch and a turret will suit me fine, thankya

90. Re-arrange some of the letters in your first, middle, and last name to form a description of yourself. I am a latent grin bych... I used all of them because I am that cool

91. Do it fast or do it right? Nike. Just do it.

92.What was the last book you read? Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man, The Awakening, The Battle for God, The Empty Space�

93. Have you ever had surgery? I broke my arm when I was eighteen months old�

94. Random fact about you...... My toes are cold

95. What is the first thing you wash in the shower? Hair

96. What is your favorite cereal? Honeycomb. ::shovels::

97. If you could learn any foreign language, what would it be? Shock of shocks, I�ve got a list. Among the top five are Spanish, Italian, French, and Russian

98. If you had the choice to live forever, would you? Mmmm.. maybe not

99. If you had the choice to be the opposite sex for a day, would you? Ew how weird would that be?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN �Emptiness? Why yes!

100. Fate? Eh maybe

101. Ghosts? Souls

102. God? Yes

103. Big foot? ::looks at own gargantuan feet::

104. Soul mates? Pah

105.Aliens? Eeeelliooot�

106.Angels? Maybe

107. Lochness monster? ::pretentious:: That�s not one word, regardless of whether or not there is a monster in Loch Ness

108. Heaven and hell? Maybe

109. The Zodiac? The serial killer?

110. Love at first sight? Are you kidding??

111. Karma? Chameleon

112.Vampires? ::hisses, flaps cape::

113. If you had any super power, what would it be? To become a cat

114. Would you use your power for good or evil? I�d be Catwoman and no one would be able to tell

115. Name something nostalgic. Retiput

116. What are your turn-ons in the opposite sex? Pretty eyes, southern accent, yummy smell, differing ideals from mine and the willingness to debate

117. What are your turn offs in the opposite sex? Bad hygiene, lack of balls, clammy hands, lack of sense of humor

118. What was the best compliment ever given to you? Maybe just that my words were worth reading more than once� also "Whenever I squeeze your hand you always squeeze back"

119. Which character from Scooby Doo do you most relate to? Thelma

120. What is the worst trend of the present time? Pointy elf shoes� also wearing belts in lieu of skirts

121. Beer or wine? You and the Cap�n make it hap�n

123. You can�t sleep. What do you do? Live

124. Do you wear jewelry? Always� It�s the changing it that I don�t do

125. What is your favorite smell? Yum

126. What was the best decade of the past century? Yeah I kind of liked the nineties..

127. Which is your favorite month of the year? May

128. Do you smoke? Never

129. Do you drink? Yes

130. What was your favorite subject in school? Theatre

131. What was your worst subject in school? Science

132. If you had to give up one of your senses, what would it be? Common, because that one's already shot

133. Do you follow your head, your heart, or your crotch? Head.. far too often than I should probably

134. Do you truly know who you are? Learning

135. Are you superstitious? I�m a hardcore believer in Murphy�s Law

136. Are you sentimental? I am the definition of pack rat

137. How many times a day do you eat? Steadily all day

138. Are you more of a main idea or detail type of person? Main idea, definitely

139. What is your favorite pie? Pumpkin, followed closely by apple

140. Have you ever been close to death? We hang out a lot. It�s invited to my birthday party

141. Do you like roller coasters? Adrenaline rocks my world

142. Apples or oranges? �Apples taste like clean�

143. Are you hyperactive? One of my clearest childhood memories is my mother yelling �I WILL PUT YOU ON RIDALIN I SWEAR IT!!!� and then we'd giggle at her and continue cartwheeling down the stairs

144. Do you talk in your sleep? Often

145. What is your favorite holiday? My birthday� also Halloween.

146. Do you go to church? With other people

147. At what age do you think you will be married? Never. I�m going to be a Golden Girl. Also Crazy Maude Up On the Hill and Mirm and I are going to feud from our adjoining hills and Amber will live in the valley between

148. If you could open up your own business, what would it be? A coffee/writing house� I�ve got it all planned out and you�ve all heard it a thousand times� please give me business..

149. What was the name of your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Um.

150. What is your weakness? Chocolate

151. What was the last movie you saw that made you cry? The Notebook� shut up! ::bawls::

152. If love were a flavor, which flavor would it be? Ew I�m not putting that in my mouth

153. If hate were a flavor, which flavor would it be? Aluminum foil

154. Have you ever been prescribed any drugs? Which ones? I take what they give me

155. Is lying sometimes necessary? Most times

156. Bubbleyum or bubblicious? Eclipse

157. What is your favourite curse word? Suddenly I�ve got the urge to say BLOODY HELL STOP IT WITH THE BRITISH SPELLINGS!!!

158. Do you have any birthmarks? They�re not too attractive

159. If you could visit anywhere in the US, where would it be? New York City, Chicago, San Fransisco, Atlanta.. in that order

160. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would it be? I�m going to cheat and say the whole of Europe

162. Do you feel like your physical self matches your personality? No I�m fairly average to look at. Generic white girl, that�s me!

163. What was the name of your kindergarten teacher? Mrs. Brown in Georgia and Sister Mary in Kentucky

164. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Either, depending on whether I�m being a bum or not

165. How tall are you? 5�4�!!!

166. How tall would you like to be? 5�5�� but I�m ecstatic to have achieved 5�4�

167. Your current mood: Full of Outback bread� the most delicious in the world

168. Do you dress up for Halloween? Of course!

169. Have you ever been in a car accident? A few.

170. What is your favorite lucky charm? The biggest one

171. What color of underwear are you wearing? Blue and white with Grumpy Bear on the front� I am so unbelievably sexy I can hardly stand myself

172. Do you tend to date people younger or older than you? Er� older?

173. Do your exes look alike? Uh.

174. Do your exes act alike? Erm.

175. Have you ever been in love? HA! You can�t be in something that you question even exists.. it's just not done

176. What is your favorite kids movie? There are so many� how bout Fern Gully? That�s a great one�

177. Have you ever hallucinated? Ooh, that was a rough night�

178. What do you like most about the opposite sex? The opposite part

179. What do you hate most about the opposite sex? The opposite part

180. Have you ever been on a blind date? No

181. Would you want to be cloned? Are you kidding?

182. Have you ever peed in public? Does the lake count as public?

183. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Optimistic cynic. Try that one on for size..

184. How did you find out that there was no Santa Claus? Mum sat me down because I simply would not let it go... I do believe that will be my next entry... hmmm..

185. Pancakes or waffles? French toast!

186. Are you on a diet? Supposedly� ::sneaks brownie(s)::

187. Why is the grass always greener on the other side? Because the damn neighbors are obsessive about their lawn

188. Do you always want what you can�t have? If I can�t have it I�ll eventually get tired of pining

189. Do you act stupid around someone you have a crush on? I just act stupid. All the time. Just constantly.

190. Have you ever been arrested? No

191. Can you cook? ::falls over laughing::

192. Do you think its wrong/weird if a girl asks a guy out? Absolutely not... if it were so nothing would ever get done...

193. Do you have any allergies? None!

194. Ketchup or catsup? ::Mr. Burnes::

195. Do you believe there is a meaning to life? Well the answer is 42.

196. What do you think about before you fall asleep? Something to the extent of uuuunnngh..

197.What are your thoughts on the nature of good and evil? IT�S NOT THAT SIMPLE THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO LADDERS!!!

198. Step into your cave. There you will find your power animal. What kind of animal is it? Le chat du noir

199.What does your power animal say to you? Brittany. Stop filling out things about yourself, it�s getting rather ridiculous. And change my litterbox that�s just disgusting. You are dismissed. Now give me a head rub, and not with your face!

The current mood of bratnatch at
FIN. 11:57 p.m., Saturday, Oct. 09, 2004

ink :: graphite

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A work in Aberration.